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My Top Ten Wishes (Satirical) For the Fake SOTU

Donald Trump, Public Domain

Donald Trump gives his second State of the Union Address (“SOTU”) tonight. I look forward to the Democratic rebuttal to be given by Stacey Abrams. Abrams who ran for governor of Georgia is the new face of the Democratic party.

Black women have supported the Democratic party by overwhelmingly voting in higher numbers than any other group in 2016, 2012 and 2008. Yet, the Democrats have often ignored Black women while trying to win back those whites who left the Democratic party beginning with President Lyndon Johnson in the 1960’s and have yet to return.

As I look forward to hearing Stacey Abrams tonight, I also wanted to share my satirical top ten wishes for the fake SOTU. In my David Letterman voice, here goes the top ten in reverse order beginning with number 10.

10. The wall becomes a non-issue and all federal government workers rejoice without the threat of a pending shutdown hanging over them.

9. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg arrives in her workout attire and begins her workout with her trainer on the House floor.

8. No Democrats show up for the SOTU except Speaker Nancy Pelosi who remains to protect the House.

7. Trump accidently takes a truth serum before giving the speech and provides special counsel Robert Mueller with everything he needs to indict Trump. Trump doesn’t realize he is speaking the truth for the first time in his life as he begins talking to the American people for over one hour.

6. Senator Mitch McConnell apologizes to the American people for failing to do his job during the Trump regime and hastily resigns.

5. While Trump is still speaking, armed FBI agents arrive to arrest and take Jared Kushner, Donald Trump, Jr. and Ivanka Trump to an undisclosed location. Melania Trump, Baron Trump, Tiffaney Trump remain listening to Trump finish his speech.

4. Vice President Pence goes into hiding after the speech begins which may implicate him in Trump’s doings.

3. Trump resigns. Mic drops.

2. Speaker Nancy Pelosi ends the SOTU with the gavel sounding marking the beginning of her presidency.

1. A new day begins in America on Tuesday, February 5, 2019 with the end of the Trump era/regime.

If only fiction could become fact.

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